A chronicle of my attempts to live a classy life as a single girl in the Nation's Capital

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Break Up Songs

For some reason I just love break up songs.  It's not that I'm going through one--quite the opposite in fact--but there's just something empowering about this particular sub-genre.

But I don't do weepy songs, I've never been one to dwell on things. The songs I listen to as "breakup songs" are very far from "Everybody Hurts."  You have to try your best to see the brighter side, realize that you'll be stronger in the end and move on.  So with that in mind, I give you my 7 favorite "kick ass and take names" break up songs.

1. Reba McEntire "Consider Me Gone"  I love this one because we've all known guys like this--they're "fun" but just... shallow.  These are the immature "bros" who say such enlightened things as "I feel like a married couple" or "I just don't wanna be trapped."  Well: 1) you should be so lucky and 2) See ya!

2. Goodbye to You "Scandal" 
I love a little peppy 80s music when I'm down.  Also a great song for the elliptical (speaking of, it's been a few weeks since I hit the gym).

3. "Express Yourself" Madonna 
 Speaking of 80s music... This one helps to remind me what I need to wait for.  Favorite line: "You deserve the best in life, so if the time isn't right move on.  Second best is never enough, you'll do much better, baby, on your own."

4. "Wrong Baby Wrong" Martina McBride
Cause there's nothing a bottle of wine can't cure.  Except maybe a hangover from drinking said bottle...

5. "F**K It"Eamon 
So this one is a little more angry than sassy, but it's great for when you're going through the "angry" stage of grief. I'm not one to curse, but I still like this song.  And sometimes you just gotta drop the F-Bomb. (this is the edited version of the song; still probably NSFW though).

6.  "Bye Bye" Jo Dee Messina 
Notice the abundance of country songs?  Yes, I listen to them and these women just do it right.  This is the song for the guy that you thought was "the one" and you just hung around too long. We're all guilty of it as some point.  "Maybe I read you wrong thinking you could be my Mr. Right.  I was putting my heart and soul on the line, you said you needed more time... well it's been long enough and time is up."

7. "Harden My Heart" Quarterflash 
Hearing this song always brings me back to the first time I heard it.  Senior Year.  Kinda broken up over a certain college freshman who "broke" my heart.  I heard this and starting jumping on the bed and dancing.  Also gotta love a little early 90s sax a la "Baker Street"

Kafka and Arhaus

"Kafkaesque" is really the only way to describe the ordeal I'm being put through with ordering this comforter from Arhaus:
Pretty isn't it?  I wouldn't really know since I still don't have it

A close up--it's burn-out velvet.  It really is beautiful.
Now Arhaus is a "nice" store.  I really like their stuff and the employees have been very nice, but let me describe what I've been put through with this cursed quilt.

1. Went to store on Dec. 26 and have a post-Christmas, totally greedy "OMG I have to have it" moment.  Bought quilt with X-mas cash.
2. Now, the entire problem could have been resolved if they just kept the quilt in the store.  I understand why they don't have furniture there, but how much space would it really take to store a few quilts?  I doubt that many people are flooding the furniture store for $300 quilts.  But John happily takes his commission for doing nothing and laughs "Oh, we don't have a back room."  Like I'm supposed to swoon at how exclusive they are.  I just want the damn quilt.
3. Since they don't have something as pedestrian as a backroom or "storage"  I am forced to pay $24 for shipping and handling.  They better make my bed for me when it gets here.
This is how John sees storage.

4. It's on back order.  Of course--So I am told it will be in by February 2nd.  I patiently wait.  Later I figure out the quilt was on sale and I didn't get my sale price.  I call about that...
5. Mid-February rolls around and I am wondering where my quilt is.  After all, they already charged me for it.  Most companies wait until they actually send it.  I call the store and meet Robin, who is a very nice lady who seems sympathetic of my situation.  It was back ordered again.  Until March 2
6. March rolls around and guess what?!  No quilt!  I call Robin again, she says she'll look into it for me because it was back ordered again... and this is "not usual."  I sure hope not.
7. Robin leaves a message on my answering machine and I just have to laugh.  Turns out my quilt is made in Egypt and a certain revolution there has held it up.  However, there is ONE in the U.S. and since I've been waiting longer, they are going to remove it from one person's order and send it to me.
8. 2 weeks pass.  I call Robin again.  At this point when she answers the phone I find myself wanting to say "Hey Robin! What's up?  It's me Laura"  I actually do say "It's Laura" and she knows who I am--Quilt girl.  She's shocked that I still haven't received said quilt and is going to look into it again.
9. A weekend passes and then Robin calls me again.  Turns out there was some sort of shipping fiasco and UPS ruined my quilt THE ONLY ONE IN THE CONTINENTAL US!  UPS.. WTF??  And you wonder why you're going out of business. 
Too bad this guy wasn't around to sew it back up for me.  Seriously, what is going on in this picture?
So now I'm back to playing the backorder game--I'm told Mid-April.  I should just cancel the order at this point, but I feel like I've waited so long that I can't just give up now.  Will the quilt ever arrive?  Or will I be 80 and hanging out with my best bud Robin still waiting for the backorder that would not end?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

For someone so young...

And seemingly "normal" I sure have had to deal with a lot of tragedy in my short life.  I was confronted with this fact today when I learned that one of my former students, now a senior, committed suicide last night.

Having known this girl, I am in disbelief.  She was so smart, beautiful, outgoing, and always seemed so happy.  I keep checking my work email for an update from our principal, to tell us that it was actually some sort of tragic medical thing. Not suicide.

It just doesn't make sense. Somehow a heart attack at 17 seems more acceptable to me.

But, like this student, I am a good actor.  I can pull myself together quickly; know tricks to hide red, swollen eyes; and smile brightly, even though it takes every ounce of my energy to do so.

I'm not sure if that's a weakness of mine or a great strength.  But I do know that it means that others don't always take me seriously when I say that I do know great tragedy.

This is not the first death I've had to deal with--or the first suicide.

Though I wish it was.

I wrote the above the day I found out about Alyssa. I never finished or published it though.  I will now.

  Today, one week later, I am sitting at the computer in my black dress having just come back from her funeral.  I still find it so hard to believe and when a coworker told me how it happened... that's an image in my head I'd rather not have.  I found myself thinking several odd things while at the funeral, where over 400 people showed up. 

The first was that it was the first time I'd set foot in a church in about 10 years.  And when the priest kept talking about "forgiving sister Alyssa of her sin" and then refused to let any non-catholics take communion, I remembered why.  One of the coworkers I was with is actually a pastor's son--he was very mad about that.  At a time like this, when people need comfort, what kind of message is that sending? 

The second thing I kep thinking about was all of my students who were there.  Some in rather short, tight black dresses.  Clearly a dress meant for a night out and not a funeral.

But why should a 17 year old need a funeral dress? 

Seeing my students there was probably the hardest for me.  Just seeing them tear up made me start crying and I had to stop and ask myself a rather morbid question.

As a teacher, over the course of my career, how many student funerals will I end up attending?  I hope only one, because even that is too many.

And the final thing I found myself thinking about is something I have said before.  People like Alyssa are not the ones you "expect" to have problems or do something like this.  But those are precisely the people with real problems.  I've met many people who dwell on issues and who broadcast the fact that they are depressed.  But at the core of all that show is really a cry for attention or sympathy.  Not true depression.  I remember a roommate I had in college. She quite literally introduced herself like this: "Hi, I'm Danielle. I have depression."  Did she have problems?  Of course, but 90% of the things she did were an attempt at getting attention. She would never go to the extent Alyssa did because the root cause of her issues weren't the same.  
Alyssa never would have admitted to that, and never did.  Now I know she had been seeking help for years and was, in truth, quite troubled.  But depression isn't really something you can control; and when it is a part of you like that, you get really, really good at hiding it. 

Alyssa Marie Jupin
December 13, 1992-March 2, 2011